Tee Pee's Diary

[kas]

She's never going to get round to it, so I'll just have to do it myself! Tee Pee here, I've been reading the diaries and have wanted one of my own for sometime. I'm very pleased to read how well Rosie's doing, hoping we'll meet one day, she sounds lovely.

Most of you know me, I'm Tee Pee and I live with two rather stupid boys called Celebridee and Fin. I have an Important Job to do, which is keeping the grass down in the field. I am dedicated to this cause, just get the fences out of the way and let me at it! I also shoulder Much Responsibility. The stupid boys aren't very bright IMHO so I have to do a lot of Watching Out and Taking Decisions. Sometimes there are Tigers in our woods and even when I huff and stand pointing, the boys sometimes ignore me. They are small Tigers I'll admit, but still Tigers, I see their fierce little faces peering out of the bushes at me. She says I'm being daft and they are only Ghengis and Fluff, but She does tend to understate the dangers that lurk in our woods.

When the Tigers and other dangers are about I sometimes have to give some orders and push the boys about a bit. If they are a bit slow I get after them with bit of teeth and swearing. Fin's very good, he gets out of the way pretty quick, but that bloody Celebridee thinks he's Someone and gives me a bit of lip sometimes. At that point, well, I'll just 'ave 'im and get after him with me hinds. She tends to run about screeching at that point, dozy bat...

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago She looked me over and said I was Getting Fat and that something needed to be done about it and that we would be On A Mission. Bloody cheeky if you ask me, she's ain't as slim as she used to be either but I don't see her doing star jumps in the field. Besides, I'm not Fat I'm just Nicely Covered. Probably do really well in a show ring with this level of Condition. Oh, and I am Big Boned.

Since then I've realised what On A Mission means I think it's going to warrant a diary, so here I am!

[kas]

The Mission started last weekend as far as I can make out. I was just minding my own business attending to the grass when She came over with the halter and dragged me out. I knew something was up because she gave me a good scrub over with the Scratchy Plastic Thing and the Furminator and brushed and plaited my mane. Then we set off up the track.
Well, call me precious, but I wasn't too keen about being dragged away from my Responsibilities, and the boys were running about crying, and there had been a lot of wind. It wasn't a good time to take me out, I was needed at home, so I thought I'd make Her work a bit. I did a brilliant stallion impression leaving the yard, helped by the two Big Boys next door who galloped up and down by the fence snorting. There was some wheezing and muttering beside me, which of course I ignored. Normally I am really good at this Going Out, but I like to keep Her life interesting. I had a lovely time at the gate, pretending I was scared to stand still by the gate while she unlocked and locked it. It was such fun, I made her drop the padlock twice.
We puffed our way up the driveway (that's Her puffing, not me, I was Snorting and Prancing). I got a good Sidle and Snort in by the top yard, but was very disappointed to find that the Stabled Stallions weren't there any more. Dammit! That whiff of testosterone as I passed used to make my day. Still, I could still jump about a bit and pretend they were there. By now we'd probably covered about three times the actual distance because She kept stopping and making me back up, and was Waiting until I softened... which took a fair few steps... but I have to do this because She needs the exercise really.
We finally found ourselves up at Big the Stallion's place, and another shock - he was gone as well! This is a real shame because I had a little secret fantasy about him. I thought that maybe one day we could Make Babies. He was lovely, not all young and pushy like the Stabled Stallions, he was calm and used to nicker nicely to me, telling me how sexy I looked. Still, in his place there are now four Young Bouncy Things, who ran about screaming at me. Brilliant! Another reason for me to jump about, pull backwards, and generally give Her a bit of exercise.
People came over and said how gorgeous I was. I couldn't really give them as much attention as I would have liked because She was doing that On A Mission thing and insisting that I took some notice of her and (eventually!) Stood Nicely. By now She was sounding fairly out of breath and seemed a bit hot and bothered, so she decided we would call it a day and go home. Not a problem with me, although I wasn't allowed to go back quite as fast as I would have liked it. She insisted on me Taking Notice and Walking Nicely, she can be a right Pain In The Arse sometimes. I don't really know what her problem was. I'd saved her a lot of walking. It had taken us as long to go to the end of the driveway and back as it would have done to go to the woods and back if I'd walked normally, and I'd made sure She got plenty of exercise. I don't really see the problem.

[kas]

I'm going to come clean here, I know She'll read it, but I think she has me sussed anyway...
On Monday night I got a bit worried that my exertions at the weekend could have caused me to Lose Condition. There was a lovely bit of grass outside the field by the barn, it needed clearing really, just to save YO Bob a bit of mowing. I gave the area a close examination and spotted two older plastic posts that looked on their last legs. A small amount of pressure snapped these off neatly about 4 inches above the ground. Great! If I was careful I could nip through and maybe back out again and She wouldn't even notice what I'd done. I had a lovely munch, gave it a good tidy, and then carefully made my way back under the tape.
For a while on Tuesday I thought I'd Got One Over on Her. She looked a bit puzzled because the fence was saggy and fiddled with a few posts further up. Sadly, She then found the broken ones and saw the cropped grass outside and said something that sounded a bit like What The Fruck?? And glared out into the field accusingly. Then She looked me in the eye and said something like You Little Luvver!
I know, I was bang to wrongs, it had to be me. If Fin had gone through the fence he'd have got it tangled round his legs, ears, probably even his tail and the whole field would have looked like giant knitting. If Celebridee had done it - and that's a big IF because he gets his tail in a tangle about stepping over a bit of dead fence laying on the ground - he'd have still been running up and down outside the field when She got there. So - it's a fair cop - it was me.
At least I made up for the lost calories.

[kas]

Wednesday was an Exciting Day. Camilla came to visit with Bacchanal. Oh wow that horse is Sex On Legs! I mean, he isn't even a stallion, but he has Presence and he's just... well, he went straight to my legs.
Now normally Celebridee comes out to play with Bacchanal and I just do a lot of running up and down posing with my tail in the air and snorting. But this time She came to the field and got ME! I was just beside myself, thrilled. In fact, I was so thrilled I couldn't stand still, causing Her to have a bit more puffing and muttering, but I'm used to that. And - gentle readers - I Went Out with him! I did a fair bit of bouncing, and to be fair, probably wasn't in the best mood to give Her a ride, so we walked together. Even though I was just Beside Myself with excitement, I mostly managed to Walk Nicely and Listen. Maybe my walk went Up and Down more than usual, but I didn't pull (much!) and I was Just Brilliant with the traffic. What a brilliant afternoon. And he was My Hero all the way, he was a really Good Boy, even when he got a bit excited he Stayed With Camilla and I felt really looked after. Hoping I can go out with him again, he's a great date.

[kas]

Today I think I might actually have had a tiny, weeny bit Too Much Grass. We staged a mass breakout yesterday, in the rain and wind, and when She was between jobs and short of time. Broken fence posts, bits of tape everywhere. I did feel a bit bad really, watching Her scurrying round in the rain swearing... Se we got posted into another paddock and were very happy.
She arrived and wasn't quite Herself. I think it was a Bad Head Day. Our new friend Mandy had come to ride, we like her, she's quiet and friendly and gives Good Brushing. So She came to the field and put my halter on, and unhooked the fence to bring me out. I Took Advantage and stopped in the gap and yanked my head down, and as the fence went slack Celebridee put Brave Boots on and leapt over the slack tape! Now, you need to understand, he never Leaps over anything, so it was all very exciting and involved him Running About With Tail In Air and Fin starting to fling himself about crying. I knew She wasn't feeling good because she just sort of slumped a bit, posted me back in with Fin and started slowly up the field towards Celebridee with the halter dragging along the ground. Fin was No Help as every time she put a hand out to touch Golden Balls he decided to scream and run off, causing Celebridee to set off at speed.
Mandy and She paused for reflection for a moment, then Mandy was sent to grab a wedge of hay to throw out for me and Fin to keep us in one place. That worked and Celebridee was soon back on the right side of the fence. She came and fetched me out, and as we walked up the field her energy was really low and she whispered "be good today". Mandy gave me Good Brushing with a bit of a Furminate, which was lovely. They put my tack on and She moved me about a bit and I was An Angel. Mandy rode me and I was So Good. When she got a bit unbalanced I stopped and let her sort herself out. We did making shapes around obstacles and when she accidentally put her leg on my side I did a leg yield for her. I was So Good that She came over and took my saddle off, put my bareback pad on, and gave Mandy her first proper no-stirrups ride. She got on at one point to show Mandy something but her energy was All Wrong and I told her, so she got off again. (She thinks it was energy, but actually I was reminding her she isn't allowed to ride Without A Hat!). Anyway, I think she was mareish today, and I wasn't having that on my back!
So I finished off letting Mandy have a bit more riding, and ended up by teaching her how to ask for a soft backup.

I can be Very Good Pony when I want to be.

[quest]

Tee pee you're always a Very Good Pony

[kas]

I think She was still a bit mareish today. I'd been checking out a few fence posts overnight and, well, it's hardly my fault if some of them are a bit old and brittle is it?? I have a Job to do, and She keeps putting these obstacles in my way. So She gave us our dinner, and mine is really, really tiny now, and She puts a string round my neck to stop me dashing off and chasing the boys off theirs, which is hardly cricket really. Anyway, after that was done She stomped off round the field muttering to herself, flinging posts around and re-stringing tape. Mareish if you ask me. ;D
After that She went and got the fly spray from the barn and She calls to us "Come on! Come on Poneeeze!" and we run up to her. We don't like the fly spray, but She brings the Brilliant Scratchy Thing out when She does the spraying and we'd all decided that makes it worth it.
Then off we went for a walk out with one of the new Young Things from the field at the top of the driveway. Apparently I am Fitter Than I Look, and I was Much Better today and Walked Nicely. We went all the way up the lane, into the woods, past Nice Vicki's yard and my friends there and back through the village. I got some cow parsley on the way, which was epic! Apparently tomorrow we will be doing Schooling In The Field. This is all part of Being On A Mission I think.

[beksnjake]

Cow Parsley - Rosie is most jealous as her hoomans don't allow her to snatch any when she goes round the lanes, but says she was allowed to eat in the field today with a halter on, apparently it was WORK but she says it tasted like grass!

[kas]

Oh Becks, I'm not allowed to snatch when I'm Working - although the tracks in the woods are so overgrown it's pretty hard to stop me because it just brushes itself into my mouth. I stopped and Stood Nicely and then She picked it and gave it to me. I luffs cow parsley!

[nicxf]

Cor TeePee, you do have a busy life! It sounds like you have your work cut out keeping the boys in order and checking for un-mown grass. It kust be knackering to have to do all that other stuff too.

[kas]

I've been a bit poorly, but thought I'd tell you on how Schooling In The Field went. It was so cool! I did a little bit of groundwork, and did a very nice lifted trot apparently. Then She got on and was asking me questions about backing up. I got a bit fed up with not backing up, and I think She got a bit fed up with it too. So she just gave up and sat there, then went "Come on Pee!" and breathed backwards and... I tucked my head nicely and floated back for her.
That was great. She gave me loads of scratchies. Even better - then she got off and put me back in the field!
Food for thought indeed.
This meant She had time to take Fin out on a date with one of the flirty girls from up the top. He was very full of himself apparently, pranced and snorted for the whole of their walk, brought Her back exhausted after about an hour.