Diary of a Retired Gent

[frenchie]

She who pays the bills tells me that an old pal big 'Z' is joining the retirement club. Just thought I would give him a few tips on organising his day, since retiring I have never been so busy, as a natural organiser
and socialite I have taken on the role of yard secretary and there is always something to do, I really don't know how they managed before I took on the role
My day starts with breakfast in bed of course and a little light music from Classical FM.
Then out for my morning constitutional around the field to check for any overnight interlopers (the young cows are a constant
annoyance at this time of year cavorting about all over the place).
Once all my field friends are present and correct, Rui attends to my mane, re-arranging it into a more debonair style that befits a horse of my standing. Once my ablutions are finished I let myself back into the yard to check on the staff, on my way into the stables I might just trim the lawn on my way, you really cannot rely on gardeners these days!
This of course brings the staff double time to greet me and on escorting me back to the field praise me for my 'bond' like skills.
(I'll never know how David Beckham got the job driving that speed boat up the Thames, it should definitely have been me!).

Once back in my field I survey the days proceedings and attend to jobs in order of importance. The Fillies are of course high on my list.....
but that's another story
Sheik

[kas]

Oh, we need some photos of this handsome gent. ;D

[beksnjake]

;D

[snigsby]

Well,Sheik,if you can't be a good example you'll just have to be a horrible warning - that's my way of thinking. I'm not sure which one you are but I do think that the Big Z might just fall into the latter category so it's as well he has you to advise him.

I wonder if he will listen?

[nicxf]

Jun 10, 2013 21:24:51 GMT snigsby said:

Well,Sheik,if you can't be a good example you'll just have to be a horrible warning - that's my way of thinking. I'm not sure which one you are but I do think that the Big Z might just fall into the latter category so it's as well he has you to advise him.

Hmmm...I sense fun times ahead!

[frenchie]

Time for a word to the wise regarding the fair sex

Made a bit of a damn fool of myself in the filly department it has to be said, but have always been a bit of a sucker for the ladies I'm afraid.

My yard is mainly chaps, but we do have the stunningly gorgeous Georgia in the adjacent field along with two rather amply covered mature earth mothers, must have been stunning in their day but I have to say have rather let themselves go a little seed:o That said and done they are still rather ravishing!

On the other side of my field a few weeks ago their 4 year old daughters were turned out in another adjacent field, only separated by the fence with an electric topper. Fortunately being rather a tall gent I was able to have quite a chat with these two flirtatious youngsters
(definitely take after their Mothers by jove

The problem was I would settle down for a snack and one of the girlies would call me, so of course I floated over in my most impressive extended trot to offer support and an ample shoulder to to nibble.
Unfortunately, Georgia would then call and I would have to float back again quickly to her rescue.
Well, a chap has to have a snack and a nap from time to time and my poor old joints were killing me! No sooner was I back than another plaintive whinney would send me in the other direction. The other morning I was just about to spring into action again when my chum Mac (hunt horse of serious campaigns) growled STOP! Man up will you! you're making a damn spectacle of yourself Sheik!
This stopped me in my tracks, I have a lot of respect for my chum and it suddenly dawned on me just how much those girlies had run me ragged! Well I played deaf and continued to munch away with Mac at my side harrumping that thank goodness I had finally seen sense.

Well I was actually quite glad to relinquish that responsibility, but you see a Gent of my standing is often looked up to for support and guidance don't you know. There was that day I had to check that the 'killer rug' was quite dead for the others - but then that's another story..............

[kas]

They're leading you astray Sheik, good thing you've got your mate to watch out for you!

I have been looking for photos of your handsome self, I think that your stunning good looks should be shared don't you?

[snigsby]

Khan says to tell you that he is very impressed to meet you,Sheik,even if it is in cyber space. Having been likened to Prince Harry himself (by whom? ) he feels passed over in the filly department and would like some tips from an older chap. His field companion yearns to be an international playboy but Khan is of a more aristocratic leaning.

[beksnjake]

Jake (AKA Corporal Quinn - "Not quite a Major my dear") is also reading your posts with great interest Sheik. He says he considers himself the perfect gentleman but is always keen to learn more from one more experienced with the ladies.

He too has admitted to making somewhat of a fool of himself over a rather gorgeous Section D mare recently but unfortunately that relationship went a little wrong when the mare in question began to stalk him demanding foals Being the perfect gentleman Corporal Quinn felt that the relationship needed to be better established & sadly had to end it when the mare in question continue to harass him ("Teeth & both back feet old boy"). Things appear to have settled down as she has been having some kind of therapy & she is much calmer when he is around, much to his relief ("So stressful at my age, especially when there's all this grass to eat"). They have even been spotted canoodling over the fence!