Decisions,decisions.

[snigsby]

I am thinking of trying to find a loan home for Smokey,at least for the next 6 months.

Due to imminent birthday, I am now staring the horrible old age of 70 in the face and boy, am I feeling it! The arthritis seems to get worse by the month and (whisper this treachery) I am beginning to find riding less than wonderful.

Khan is 22 and fit as a fiddle,or so he claims. I would like to take him hacking much more than once a month,which is about all I can manage while keeping Smokey fit.

I miss Rafferty even more than I ever imagined possible. I still cry when I talk about him or look at his pictures.

Do I try to find a really good home for Smokey while he is still a very "marketable product" (he is 13 and can do anything) and console myself with just hacking locally on Khan for the rest of his life? Or do I try to do a King Canute and turn back the tide of the years with intensive exercise/physio stuff so I can keep on taking Smokey places? (although the hitching up of the trailer and all the driving to get to rides is becoming a real burden also). We've done our Bronze Thistle and our 4-day 100 miles so nothing else I can think of to aim for.

Any suggestions?

[tommytrot]

Wow it appears you have more energy than I do! 

If I was in your position i would try and find someone to load Smokey on a temporary basis, it would be good if they still kept him with you 😁 then you can spend some quality time with Khan, while you both are still young fit and able 😁

i suspect you will find that once you are not having to keep Smokey fit for your activities you will start to enjoy riding again. 

Then see what happens? Good luck with your decision making x 

[snigsby]

Thanks,TT! Pretty much confirms what I am thinking.

But no, I don't have much energy! That's the problem.And I just can't seem to get over losing wee Rafferty. I miss him so much. He was my pet for 14 years since he was a baby and life just doesn't feel right without him. Its utterly ridiculous as he is "only a horse", not a brother or a sister or a child but that's the place he had in my life and it is so empty without him.

After Kofi, when Khan arrived, I said I could never love another horse the way I loved Kofi but of course,Khan has now charmed his way into my heart in just the same way so there's another heartbreak looming on the horizon.

Sorry, bit depressed this morning.

[tommytrot]

He was not just a horse, he was a member of your family,  and it sounds like he had a wonderful life with you and your herd, at times like this in life when we need to slow up a bit, give your self a break, take comfort from the boys, I know what you mean but I would rather brace myself for the inevitable loss, than not have the privilege of having them in my life.

shame you are so far away, thinking of you all 🌈 

[pearlieking1977]

Hi Snigsby,

It sounds like you're having a tough time- firstly - can I send you a big hug. It must be so difficult doing everything on your own. I was wondering if it would be practical maybe to get someone to come and loan Smokey from yours? That way, you can get help and company? I know how you miss Rafferty, I've never really gotten over losing Darcy and that was 11 years ago, now. Rafferty was a huge part of your life and his antics kept you on your toes. He wasn't 'just a horse' he was family.

I was tentatively wondering if maybe you might consider rehoming another little shetland to keep Khan company if you do decide to let Smokey go out on loan? I'm not saying it to be insensitive, because I know how tough the though is. I know you can't ever ever replace a horse or pony (especially not one as important as our BB) but I think if there is room in your heart, then there's always another little chap or chapess who would love love love to have a horse Mum like you Xx

[snigsby]

Thank you so much for the hug,Nikki. I've always said how lucky your boys are to have you as a mum - you know just how to speak to a big baby like me and make me feel better

I have tried to find someone to share Smokey with from here but just get lots of joy riders who don't or can't make a comittment. It's been really frustrating and poor Smokey has had 4 different riders trying him out in the last couple of months. I could sell him tomorrow,if I didn't mind what his long term future would be, but I just can't bring myself to do it. He's a real family pony or an older persons best pal and there don't seem to be many of those round here.

I'm going up to the yard nesr me ( 5 mins walk) today to see if anyone there has a friend/daughter/etc who might be interested. I've already advertisied him on the endurance site here in Scotland - had one enquiry wanting photos then no further response and a lovely lady,into Natural Horsemandship, who decided not to come and see him because she is 5'6" and thinks he is too small for her.

I have a small pony here. While I was totally in bits over Rafferty, a kind friend hurriedly arranged a loan of a 18 year old Welsh SecA retired show hunter pony. Bit of a pig in a poke. Discovered he has low grade, recurring laminitis and probably Cushings and puts on weight at the sight of a field he was "sold" to us as an ideal field companion.......He's on a proper loan contract and can go back to his "owner" but she doesn't want him,poor little sod so he'll not have 100% of the care and attention he will need. At the moment, he's happy but its money and worry I had hoped to spare myself. I didn't want another problem.

Regarding another Shetland I just can't face it. I feel I would be trying to replace Rafferty with another one the same as though he was as replaceable as a toaster or a goldfish. I know that is silly but I cant get that out of my head.

I also know that I am depressed so that's a factor but not much to do about that! The neighbour problem is in the hands of the Courts and will have to get worse before it (maybe) gets better but I have had 4 years of it and really can't go on indefinitely now, it has been ruined for me.

Having to put my little fiend to sleep was just the last straw and I am now even struggling to ride much. Its hard to see a silver lining.

[pearlieking1977]

Oh Rosemary- I really wish I could just come and scoop you up <3 I'm sorry that the neighbour thing is dragging on. Depression is the absolute pits - it's like all of your insecurities are eating you from the mind downward .

I would hope that you know that the horses don't care a fig if they're ridden or not. Give yourself a break and I think the idea of going to a local yard is a good one. I'm sure it's a combination of losing Rafferty on top of it all that was the last straw. However, I know I've only met you in person once- but you're such a lovely, kind lady. There is a silver lining in the fact that we woke up today, we may have lost our beautiful horses at points throughout our lives, too. However, I understand utterly, the lack of riding mojo. Be kind to yourself XxXx If Iived up the road I'd love to come and ride with you. Good luck in your search for the perfect person Xx