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Post by snigsby on Jan 8, 2011 20:51:19 GMT
Gazing worshipfully at the new Lady Friend,BB hastily whipped his bandanna from around his neck and tied it in a concealing fashion around his boy bits. "I know I look good naked,"he thought, "but perhaps she doesn't know that size isn't everything."
Strumming his ukelele,all thought of gangsta rap and retribution forgotten, he edged his way in front of Styro,who had actually stopped eating for a few seconds. "Where are we going with this?" he asked BB. "I dunno" replied BB "but I think the alternative may have something to do with howling and fangs,so lets stay here and admire the view until inspiration strikes."
In the speccie seats, a posse of small girls were flinging the contents of their water bottles over Snags,who had fainted after being caught in one of Dave Stewart's soft ropes..........it had brought back memories of farriers and black leather chaps.
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Post by kas on Jan 8, 2011 21:45:09 GMT
(Oh, happy days Snigs!).
Belinda Farelli took a look over her shoulder at Fat. "I'm going to sit and watch Fat, so you just get on with sorting that horse out. I need to get in ma seat before the chocolate brownies run out". Fat squared his shoulders and sighed, he was just going to have to face El Stalliano Diaboloso without Spellbound. Now was the time, the proof of Farelli Natural Horsemantricks would be in the pudding, so to speak. "Go get him guys." he said to his 15 trusty trainees, striding into the arena. (You know, that stride they get when they are wearing a pair of well worn chaps with tassles and some new boots that pinch a bit). Outside the arena Nellie Farelli sighed and stroked her dear old cob Finesse Farelli. "If only we could find Spellbound Finesse" she sighed, "Fat would be foreever in our debt. Finesse looked thoughtful, then took the end of her Parsnip Wand in his teeth and started to pull her gently in the direction of the Silverend camp. El Stalliano Diaboloso leapt into the arena trailing 15 lariat ropes. His eyes were red and wild, his nostrils flared and seemed to emit smoke, his massive tail flew out behind him. In the middle of the arena Fat clutched the Lip Stick that Stove had lent him in one hand, and his roping lariat in the other. Throughout the arena there was a sharp intake of breath in a thousand throats, then deadly silence. "This is going to be great." said Outtolunch, his mouth full of brownie crumbs and Ladycentaur gripped his arm tightly. Fat watched El Stalliano gallop around the arena for a few laps, then focussing on the horse's rear end so hard that his moustaches quivered, he beat the ground once, hard with the Lip Stick. Which promptly shattered, Lip Sticks aren't made to withstand the same hard work that Parsnip Sticks are capable of. ElStalliano stopped making threatening lunges at the front row (See? Not always worth buying the "best seats" is it eh??), spun and flew towards Fat. He leapt into the air and straight over Fat's head, grabbing his stetson as he went. "Sheeet!" yelled Fat "That's gen-u-ine beaver! That cost $4000!". Throwing caution to the wind, he raced after the massive horse, whirling his lariat as he went.
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Post by kas on Jan 8, 2011 22:00:46 GMT
Over at the Silverend camp, Marelli came upon a touching scene. Two happy geldings were serenading Spellbound. The golden one was offering her a bite of his hay. The small hairy black one, who was mysteriously wearing a bandana around his nether regions was strumming a ukulele and whickering softly. "I can't be seeing a horse strumming a ukulele" thought Marelli to herself "that's impossible". She walked up to Spellbound and put her Farelli String around her neck, "Please come with me and be good Spellbound" she begged, "Fat needs you. BB and Styro watched wistfully as Spellbound was led away. They were about to follow her, when, in the distance they heard "Owooooo!" an unearthly howl cut through the night. They decided to stay near the camp fire after all. They might even let the rude man out of the container, if they got really bored. Spellbound stared in the direction of the sound, but she was very good mare, and went with Marelli where she led her. Meanwhile in the arena, Fat was not having the best of times. He had managed to lasoon El Stalliano it was true, but with one toss of his head the stallion had somehow managed to loop the other end of the lariat around Fat's ample middle, and now they were circling each other warily. "What on earth does Fat think he's doing?" one of the ladies with bicycle bells asked a Farelli follower. "Oh, that's the Circling Game" the Farelli-ite said knowledgeably, "You have to be a Farelli student to really understand what's going on". Fat attempted to take a hold and stop the stallion, who turned quickly towards him and ran at him, shaking the lariat in his teeth. Fat ran rather quickly, and sensibly, backwards. Some speccies looked puzzled, others cheered heartily. They weren't sure what was happening, but it looked exciting. "The Yo Yo Game" said the Farelli-ite confidently. "I've never seen it quite like this before, but Fat is a Level 10, so he can do things that the rest of us can't". El Stalliano caught up with Fat and shoved him hard in the chest with his nose. Fat fell over backwards on the floor. "Er, the Porcupine Game?" said the Farelli-ite a bit uncertainly. There was a smattering of applause and a loud ringing of bicycle bells. There was a stir at the gate, and in came Marelli, leading Spellbound by just a rope around her neck. "Thank F for that!" Fat spluttered, as El Stalliano spun towards Spellbound. "Ah sheet!" yelled Fat, as he realised he was still attached to the lariat by his waist, and he started skidding over the sand behind the huge black animal. Spellbound gave a coy whicker, and started prancing around the arena, El Stalliano grew another 3 hands and started bouncing after her. Fat skidded and bounced in the dust, getting increasingly red in the face as he went. "We're going to have to do something!" Stove Tencents looked along the row of trainers from various origins. "The seat of his jeans is going to give out soon, and that won't be pretty!". There were nods of fervent agreement all around. "Aw gawd! Help him guys!" Belinda wrung her well manicured hands and shed a tiny tear "I've forgotten to pay his life insurance!".
Nearly there...
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Post by kas on Jan 8, 2011 22:14:20 GMT
The trainers started to get to their feet, somewhat reluctantly it has to be said. Then all halted and froze as an eerie howl echoed around the NEC. "Owwwwoooooh". Every hair on every watching neck stood on end. Ginny Spry held her head in her hands, "Oh Phillip!" she sighed, "You found a bloody steak!". Spellbound, and even El Stalliano stopped in their tracks and spun to face the entrance. The mysterious horseman appeared and somehow sprang over the 12 ft barriers that had been erected. Spellbound whickered joyously and galloped towards him. As they flew together, the horseman's hat fell from his head and he could be seen clearly, Spellbound dropped her head into his arms and sighed. There was a stir in the audience "Who is he??" and the whispers started and grew around the arena, "Phillip Spry (fuckin' legend) . The main who trained looked after Spellbound for Fat Farelli". "Phillip Spry (fuckin' legend)!" groaned Belinda Farelli, "I never thought he'd leave Tasmania." "Well he did Belinda" confirmed Ginny over her shoulder, "and I think he's going to save your husband". Philip sprung onto Spellbound's back, it looked as if his feet just left the ground and he floated. El Stalliano gave and amorous neigh and started to trot after them as they set off around the arena. Phillip growled at him, and El Stalliano suddenly noticed how hairy this strange man's hands were. He got quieter. Spellbound came alongside the big horse and Phillip leant over and slipped the noose off his neck. Behind them Fat let out a sob of relief as he stopped bouncing and came to rest.
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Post by kas on Jan 8, 2011 22:26:47 GMT
Phillip and Spellbound soared around the arena, every step mirrored by El Stalliano. After a scuffling noise some stirring music from Enya came over the PA system. The 'Splories set up a chant "Phill-ip, Phill-ip!" and Poshnbecks passed round mugs of sloe gin by way of celebration. Phillip Spry (fuckin'legend) stood up on Spellbound's bare back as she cantered around and slid over to the broad back of ElStalliano . The crowd held their breath, but after only the slightest hesitation, the stallion started forward in a powerful trot. Spellbound stood at a halt while Phillip took up a handful of El Stalliano's mane and suddenly the horse was moving into a canter pirouette, his long mane and tail flying with the movement. Fat Farelli got to his feet, grinned ruefully and then gave Phillip a friendly wave. He backed out of the arena almost unnoticed. Dave Stewart was the first to spot the activity down at the gate, and his long legs quickly took him over various members of the audience to open it. Into the arena flowed all the horses and ponies that had taken part in the day. As Phillip and El Stalliano cantered, passaged and sidepassed around the arena, all the others danced and spun around them. The audience leapt to their feet and howled with joy, while the owners and trainers hugged each other with excitement. Jonty Robarts danced up and down the aisles, his dressing gown flying around his ankles waving his cloth cap in the air. Nelly Stains, overcome with emotion, threw Quality Street into the crowds. Bob and Trim hugged each other manfully, overcome with the moment and the scrumpy. Obviously, all the Silverend 'Splories and their friends sobbed uncontrollably, because that's what they always do, they're hopeless like that. Belinda Farelli allowed a tear or two to fall and melt her mascara. "One thing's fer certain" she sniffed, "that mare is going back with Phillip Spry." (Fuckin' legend).
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Post by kas on Jan 8, 2011 22:29:51 GMT
What more is there to say? (If anyone else can think of anything feel free!). Just what everybody needs at the moment and after the year it's been. A happy ending.
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Post by redhorseracinguk on Jan 9, 2011 21:38:22 GMT
That was marvellous guy! What a brill story xx
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Post by kas on Jan 10, 2011 10:58:04 GMT
Quite an effort from all involved I reckon. We confused ourselves a few times, but it worked.
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Post by el on Jan 10, 2011 20:08:38 GMT
woOOhoooo well done fab stuff there at the end kas!
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Post by breakfast on Jan 10, 2011 23:51:09 GMT
Nicely concluded.
Guaranteed to be a best seller. I'm surprised we haven't had publishers signing up to the forum just to offer to publish it!
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Post by redhorseracinguk on Jan 11, 2011 14:40:37 GMT
Or certain trainers trying to sue us for liable? PMSL! ;D ;D ;D.... I <3 our bestseller
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Post by kas on Jan 11, 2011 15:01:35 GMT
All I did at the end was pull everyone's ideas together into a neat parcel. I particularly liked the little "Styro, BB and Stardust" storyline. I thought that we were quite nice to the trainers really don't you? We poked a bit of gentle fun at them, and at ourselves. By the way, I'm scared of heights. Hurtling around the arena stood on Steve and Ben's shoulders, on top of horses? I don't think so!
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Post by breakfast on Jan 11, 2011 16:34:42 GMT
It would need to be Steve and I if it was Steve and anyone, though, as I'm the only person even nearly tall enough. The best way would be for me to be on the warmblood and Steve on the cob...
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Post by beksnjake on Jan 12, 2011 9:05:50 GMT
. . . now thats quite a mental image - especially as kas is scared of heights ;D
I thought we all did good - what vivid imaginations (warped or otherwise!) we all have.
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Post by kas on Oct 25, 2012 22:21:28 GMT
I'm upping this, posting it and locking it. Just so some new aspiring authors can see what this is all about. ;D The idea is to pick up a them - like Stepford Wives (prefect town, sinister men's club, robotic, immaculate, obedient wives that aren't what they seem...) and transfer that into our tale. Try to pick up on the post before you to make it flow, keep half an eye on the names of the cast and Bob's yer wotsit!
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