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Post by quest on Oct 25, 2012 15:45:57 GMT
"Darn it" sighed Seeker, gazing sadly in the mirror. Tonight was the knitting circle, she'd ordered and received her neon pink, with green spots parsnip stick and matching braid, now artfully twisted into her jeans (excellent work from Large Ropes). She'd wanted to desperately change from "all idea no gear," but with her hair now green instead of luscious blond, just long enough to swing casually through her cap it wasn't working. Still time to go. Now, what were the 7 mantras, the 1st something to do with hitting people, animals and anything with ropes, the 2nd?? I must get out "50 Shades of Hay" again and study it more thoroughly. "Hairy, Hairy, Hairy". She muttered as she drove through the village, at least Stove had nearly perfected the Tri-Pony-Patented-Mounting-Device so soon she would be able to get onto to Mincy and join the others having fun. Perhaps some private lessons with Belinda...........
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Post by el on Oct 25, 2012 19:40:58 GMT
(Can someone PM me an explanation of the terms, I love it but only understand about 1/4 of it so far! Just call me dozy)
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Post by snigsby on Oct 25, 2012 19:45:04 GMT
(Up in Scotland,a pair of handsome chestnut Arab ears swivelled southwards......"Mincy? Mincy!! Will you be my partner for the Dorris dancing later on?
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Post by snigsby on Oct 25, 2012 20:29:46 GMT
(the thickening plot or should that be the thick plotter?) See,I thought maybe the ponies are only pretending? No? Are we having Stepford ponies and also Stepford wives?
El,confused??? You soon will be ;D
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Post by quest on Oct 25, 2012 21:51:27 GMT
In the quiet of her stable Mincy panicked. I'm barefoot she thought and for Dorris dancing I need special shoes and once again I can dance with HIM.
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Post by kas on Oct 25, 2012 22:26:15 GMT
A small interlude and explanation. Plot of Stepford Wives: New family roll into town. Hubby was very keen on being there because it was all just "perfect". There is a sinister mens' club. And a ladies' club full of immaculately turned out women that pander to their husbands needs and are perfect housewives. Female children are in the same mould. Eventually it is realised that the women and girls have been replaced by... robots!! All sorts of drama, film ends, family escape Stepford. I'm sure clips can be found on You Tube. So... Stepford Ponies. Maybe the Farelli trained ponies look a little bit robotic to you?? (Cue sinister music...).
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Post by kas on Oct 25, 2012 22:44:00 GMT
The hordes rolled in from all directions, heading for the town hall and the Stepford Knitting Circle. Nellie Stains leant on her garden gate and watched in amazement as the Ladies of Stepford rode their Farelli trained horses up the main street in perfect formation. The horses gleamed as they marched along (mechanically??) every hoof hitting the ground in perfect time, all tails swishing in unison. Not a scrap of tack was worn and the Stepford Ladies rode proud, sitting slightly back on the pockets of their jeans and feeling their Sweet Spots. Some held mirrors and touched up their makeup, others appeared to be drying their nails. "What the F???" breathed Nellie. Jonty joined her. "Maybe we should be teaching our horses some Farelli Horsemantricks, that's amazing!" he exclaimed. As the Stepford Ladies lined their horses up neatly in front of the town hall and dismounted, a cloud of orange dust could be seen approaching from the West. Gradually as it came closer mounted figures could be seen. They might be scruffy, they might have broken nails, their clothes might all be stained various shades of orange from the red dust, but the Silverend gang were coming into town. And when they got there - they were fit to knit!
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Post by beksnjake on Oct 27, 2012 19:06:33 GMT
Belinda looked out of the Stepford Town Hall window with pride.
"Look at all those "perfect" ponies" she thought "How foolish those women are for not realising WHY they're perfect, nothing to do with training, 7 Mantras or Fifty Shades of Hay - although that had been an interesting read. . . . . " Belinda's mind wandered at this point humming Wild Thing. . . . .
Then to her horror she saw the orange dust cloud - that could only mean one thing - Irma had not come alone for the Knitting Circle, she had bought along the Silverendies Gang. . . .
(cue atmospheric type music)
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Post by el on Oct 27, 2012 21:55:30 GMT
Meanwhile, back at Emu Lodge, Lee was deep in thought putting the final touches to her plans to extract a new renewable energy source harvested from a mixture of giant Adelaide spider webs, horse manure and Australian tequila (very rare, brewed up in the Blanch pub illegally)
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Post by kas on Oct 27, 2012 22:00:43 GMT
Fifty Shades of Hay (I realised I'd changed Irena's name to Irma back at the start, so have edited it to avoid confusion. Sorry!).
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Post by quest on Oct 29, 2012 23:08:33 GMT
At the knitting circle the gentle clicking of needles and parsnip sticks was making many of the members feel drowsy. Belinda's voice was droning on and on about the 7 mantras and how they must be followed to the letter, and how the wonderful work other knitting circles were doing around the world makings little jackets for the poor cold ponies in the north. Slowly one by one the members fell asleep ...........
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Post by snigsby on Oct 30, 2012 9:00:29 GMT
Up in the north,a poor cold pony was wriggling resentfully. "It doesn't fit" he whinged " and it's itchy"
"Shut up,BB!" snapped Snags,as she crawled along beside him "It's hard enough doing up these fastenings under your belly without having to listen to your grumbles. There are many poor cold ponies who would love to be as lucky as you and have a handknitted designer Marelli Farelli outfit."
"Well,let them wear it" muttered BB under his breath,flattening his ears at the handsome Arab sniggering in the corner.
"and it smells funny" he thought
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Post by kas on Oct 31, 2012 10:20:23 GMT
"but I can't quite work out what it smells of... What do you think mate?" he asked his Arab friend "I can't quite put my hoof on it...?" That evening Stove couldn't work out what was wrong with everyone. They all had a slightly dazed look about them, and Dave Mellon had... shaved! All that time carefully cultivating designer horse-trainer stubble and now his face was as smooth as a baby's posterior, and if he didn't know better, Stove would have sworn that he'd (No! Can hardly think it!!)... moisurised! "Those horses in Stepford are amazing. So well behaved. Just Perfect. Maybe we should send a couple of ours to Fat and Belinda for training." mused Irma. "WTF!" exploded Stove! "Have you gone out of yer mind woman? Here - get some tequila down you, that will bring you to your senses!" and he thrust a smoking glass at her. Irma took a good slug. The colour rose in her cheeks. She looked around as if she'd just woken up from a long sleep. "Wh? Wher? Stove? What were we just talking about?". "I think I'd better pass the bottle round!" thought Stove.
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Post by kas on Oct 31, 2012 10:24:49 GMT
Commercial break.
(Who'd have thought that Extreme Knitting existed??).
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Post by beksnjake on Oct 31, 2012 16:10:37 GMT
;D
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